To be human is to be in
relationship. To be human is to share our lives with those around
us, to one degree or another. Some relationships are with casual
acquaintances. Some are with a BFF. Some are parent-child. And for
some of us there is that one special relationship in our lives, the
one person with whom our life is inextricably blended, the one we
choose to call our life-partner. The challenge in all these
relationships is living them out with harmony, respect, and
mutuality.
How we live in relationship to
the world around us is the predominant issue of Scripture. And there
are so many things said about that. Sometimes it would be easier if
there was some sort of shorthand way of describing how we are to live
in relationship with our neighbours instead of long lists of rules
and regulations. Turns out there is. One simple word. Love.
There is an old Jewish story
about a rabbi who was asked to explain the whole Law while standing
on one foot. It was a set-up, a challenge the questioner likely
thought impossible. “Simple,” said the Rabbi, lifting up one
foot, “love God with your whole being, love your neighbour as
yourself”. That is how we live in relationship with God and with
the people around us. By loving them, which means by acting in a
loving way towards them.
X & Y, you have come here
today to promise your lives: the good and the bad, the happy and the
sad, the easy and the difficult, to each other. Marriage, to use
classic language, is a holy estate, not to be entered into lightly.
To use athletic language it is also a marathon. Not a sprint with a
sudden spurt of energy soon over but a marathon, an endurance event.
And like any marathon there are times of relatively easygoing where
the course is flat and smooth and times where the going is hard,
where it feels like you are hitting the wall, where it takes great
strength of will to keep putting one foot in front of another, to
keep moving forward.
Because let us be honest,
marriage is not always easy. In marriage we put our lives into the
hands of another. In marriage we make ourselves more vulnerable than
in any other relationship. And we do that while knowing that neither
of us in perfect. We do it knowing that there is no guarantee of
success, that while the road will sometimes be smooth and straight
there will also be potholes and sharp curves and construction along
the way.
Indeed, given all the challenges
and all the stories about relationships gone bad that float around
the world today it sometimes amazes me both that people take the risk
of entering into marriage. And even more amazing is the fact that it
works so often!
Marriages work, when they work,
not because of magic but because of effort. Marriages work because
of love, because the partners choose to love each other as they love
themselves. When we choose to love our partners, to accept our
partners, flaws and all we are choosing the reality of life, the
reality of relationship.
X & Y, as you stand here
to promise your lives to each other know that you are not alone.
This room is full of people who have come to witness these promises
but who have also promised to offer you their love and support. And
beyond that there is God. In the book of Ecclesiastes there is a
passage that talks about how life is easier when not dealt with
alone. The passage ends with the line “a threefold cord is not
easily broken”. God is the third strand in the braided cord that
is your marriage, the strand that adds strength and stability even
when the other two are stretched to the breaking point. May you be
blessed by each other. May you be blessings to each other. And may
God bless you in the life that you share. Amen.
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