A WEdding Sermon

M and A, now I talk to you about relationship. To be in relationship is at the heart of human experience. We all have a variety of relationships in our lives. Our earliest is that of child and parent, then maybe a sibling. Then there are other family members: grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins... As time goes on we move out into the world and develop friendships with people outside the family circle. Some of these become deep and life-long, others are just for a period of time until one or the other moves on. Each of these relationships teach us something. We learn who we are as we relate to others, we learn how to relate to others, we may even learn about who we want to be when we grow up. Both of you have relationships like these in your lives.

But then for many people there is another relationship. This is the relationship where you choose one special person with whom you will share your life more deeply than with any other. This is the relationship where we choose to make ourselves more vulnerable than any other. In this one we pledge ourselves to each other, we make vows to support each other come what may, we promise to put this relationship in a place of prime importance and grow a place where both of us can grow and blossom and shine. It is this relationship that we are here to celebrate to day.

Today as you stand in front of your family and friends you will make promises to each other. Today marks the beginning of a new part of the life you share. After today many things will be the same as they were yesterday. And one thing will be different. Your lives will be joined together, interlinked, in a stronger way. We have all come to witness this happen. We have all come to promise to support you as you grow a marriage together. We have all come to celebrate this commitment, this life you share.

Tomorrow you continue to build the relationship and life you share. On my GPS unit you can choose your destination but then you can add stopping points along the road as a “via point”. Today is one of those via points on the journey, a layover perhaps as you continue to the destination. Mind you this is a journey with no set destination, rather a series of destinations will appear along the way, just as there have already been a series of destinations to get you to this day. The journey of marriage is one where you continue to learn more about each other and yourselves as you live through what life decides to put in your path. In the process we trust and pray that your relationship will grow stronger and deeper as time goes by.

On the table behind me are 4 candles. 3 of them we have lit already, one we will light in a little bit. The words we attach to these candles can help you along the journey that will be your marriage.

HOPE – what would life be without hope? Hope is that thing that pushes us to keep trying when the road gets challenging, the hope that individual challenges are temporary and the relationship is lasting. Hope is that thing that gives us a dream, or a series of dreams, as we look to the future. M and A, may there always be hope in your marriage

PEACE – Peace can mean many things. Sometimes it means quiet or calm. Sometimes it means one side has conquered the other. In marriage we look for a different kind of peace. We look for the peace that comes, not from the total lack of conflict (because we know that doesn’t exist). The peace of marriage is based on the fact that conflict is resolved and both people win. Peace in marriage comes also when we can sit quietly with our beloved and be comforted and warmed simply by their presence. A and M, may peace be the norm in your marriage.

JOY – At this time of the year we hear a lot of talk about Joy. From a theological and practical point of view I think we get Joy wrong. For me joy is not just happiness. Joy is deeper. Joy comes from that deep place of trust and appreciation Joy in marriage comes from seeing each other and ourselves with clear eyes, flaws and all, and realize the depth of our relationship, how much we would miss without each other. A and M, in the life you share find joy in each other, produce joy for each other.

LOVE – The candle we have yet to light, possibly the most important candle we will light this afternoon., the candle of Love. None of the relationships in our lives are always easy. The deeper the connection, the greater the vulnerability there is and that makes love so much more important. In marriage we put our lives in the hands of another, on purpose, knowing that this is a risk. We are able to find the comfort to do that because there is love. If there is a magic bullet to marriage (to life in general) it is love. M and A, may the love which has lead or drawn you to this place continue to lead and draw you forward in the years to come.

A and M, you have invited us to be a part of this special day. You have invited us to add this to our celebration of Christmas Love. We thank you for the invitation. And we come to witness your commitment, to promise to support you in the life you share, and to celebrate with you today. In the Scripture passage we just heard it reminds us that a threefold cord is not easily broken. I have noticed (not being inclined or allowed to actually braid hair in my house) that if you try to braid two strands together it does not work well. But add the third strand and you add stability and strength. May God be present as the third strand in the cord that is your marriage, there to add support and strength when the others feel stretched to breaking May God bless and keep you always. Amen.